Aliker p'Ocitti
Recently, the Minister of Justice and Constitutional Affairs and President of the Democratic Party (DP) Hon. Norbert Mao triggered a debate on who is a Guest and what are the expectations of a Guest?
Hon. Mao was responding to the Speaker Hon. Annet Anita Among to justify his attendance of the National Resistance Movement’s (NRM) retreat at the National Leadership Institute, Kyankwanzi held from April 7th to April 15th, 2026.
Speaker, Annet Anita Among, speaking on the cooperation agreement between DP & NRM had suggested that while Mao was welcome to cooperate, he should not “come up to my bedroom” (a reference to her position as Speaker).
In the last few days, this has been a trending debate on social and digital media spaces. Let me contribute further to this discourse.
I read with keen interest a well-written piece by Amon Katungulu on the Nile Post dated April 17th, 2026.
In his insightful piece titled, Mao Risks Crossing the Line from Guest to Disruptor; he argues that in many African societies, the rules of being a guest are clear, even if unwritten. A visitor is expected to be measured, respectful and aware that they are in someone’s space. Good behaviour earns future invitations; bad manners quietly closes doors.
In my view, this may look good counsel but at the same time it had a warning element to it that made it look like what Acoli call Tek-lawang dyang.
Tek-lawang dyang is when a person acting as impartial intervenes to end a fight but their actions seem to favour a side.
As I read in between Amon’s lines, I was confronted by this question:
Who is a guest in the African society? In my reflection, there are invited and uninvited guests in every African society.
In this piece, I will stick to the invited guest for the context of our story. And since the word “bedroom” was used in the context of this story, I will refer to a guest of the “bedroom” within the African context.
Most African families are polygamous and extended in nature. As such, invitation to the family varies according to traditions and customs.
In the African tradition and customs, a good family is noted by how they welcome guests during marriage ceremonies and during burials and funeral rites.
A retreat, like any marriage ceremony, attracts guests. In the African setting, if you ever see a visitor at any ceremony acting busy-body and more active and tireless in the kitchen and supporting every elder more than the family members, note that that is not an ordinary visitor. It’s a ‘Special Visitor’
The elders immediately know that she is a special guest of the family. Since she is not making the elders uncomfortable but comfortable, the elders know that such persons are normally messengers.
Instead of getting upset about her good intentions, they whisper to the wise people of the clan to look into the matter.
Normally, these wise people are elderly women with an eagle’s eye to trace where she is repeatedly visiting within the family tents.
The wise woman never rages in anger, she visits the kitchen to trace the footprints where the newest bowls with the biggest pieces of meat are going; to know the interest of the visitor.
Oftentimes, that footprint leads to a location of one of their sons, a bachelor, waiting for the final day of the ceremony to deliver the message of a new bride.
Acoli like to say, Welo Okelo Nyamu, literally meaning whenever we have visitors, we eat well, to imply more meat.
At the end of the ceremony, a quiet, jovial-looking elder notifies his clans men of a messenger to the clan.
It’s only then that the loudmouth youths who were bickering and gossiping aloud realize that the visitor was not alone.
The visitor was guided from within the family, that is why she was allowed in the kitchen.
It’s then that the silent elders confirm their knowledge of the visitor and her message to his clansmen.
When confirmed that the message she carries in her belly will expand the clan and lead to their progress, everyone welcomes her to the clan with the new status of an in-law.
In the context of our story, if the “visitor” imagined that the seats in the kitchen and role of serving the elders water were all tasked to the ladies of the family, she would not have found her place.
In this world, we are all in someone’s space. What we call our space won’t be ours tomorrow. And when we change spaces, we take over from someone else.
In conclusion, whether Hon. Mao will heed to the caution or not that is up to how much we know Hon. Mao.
But if this insightful piece is as it looks on face value, time will tell whether Hon. Mao closed the door of further invites.
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