The faith debate

The faith debate ultimately rests in a moment of personal reckoning, where you are confronted with the futility of pleasure, the weightlessness of money, and the emptiness of fame and notoriety.

The reality sets in, of how none of these things ever satisfies. The difference between your reality on the inside and the appearance of your life on the outside continues to be more glaring and harder to ignore.

As per the standard of the world, you are free, confident and open-minded. But inside you are restless, empty, never arriving at any real peace. It is in that moment of reckoning that you reconsider that maybe, none of these things you are pursuing or in the middle of, are it.

Eventually you figure out that you want none of it and something entirely different. You look around and see those who have apparently figured it out. You cannot know for a fact if they are as happy as they claim to be, but it is undeniable that something in them has changed.

You have never admitted it but you like what they have and you wish you had it too. It is not envy. You simply see a good thing that looks a lot like what your soul needs, and you know that you want it.

You decide that you will go after it; and that decision alone puts your spirit in light flight. For the first time, you feel a flutter of life inside you. It just makes so much sense. You know that you have found something worth having.

The next fight is having the courage to walk away. You find that you do not agree anymore with the things that you have been seeing and hearing for so long. They just do not resonate anymore. The jokes are no longer funny, the arguments no longer hold. The discussions carry no weight. It is like for the first time you can see clearly.

But then it is everywhere. This is the dominating discussion. This is the prevailing worldview. It’s the way that everybody things. You realise that this is a decision you have to make own your own.

So either you do, and walk into freedom. Or you cower and live in the torment of knowing the truth, but being too afraid to make your new stand known.

Written by

Anna Grace Awilli

Veterinarian. Poet. Writer. Community Development. Check out my blog: awilli.net

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