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LETTER TO MY ACTOR: MINDFULNESS

Most times we spend a lot of our lives worrying. Most people around us are always unhappy because many things are not going right.  You spend most of your life on earth either worrying about the mistakes you made in the past or what you want to be in the future. There are so many things in life that always just keep you on the edge. You are too anxious both positively or negatively. 

Last Tuesday, at my workplace, I had a very trying moment. I told my students there was a guest who was coming to talk to them. They were very excited and many of them couldn’t even finish their lunch food because of excitement. Since I had told them a day before, all of them had searched the internet about the guest and excitedly told their parents about it. From morning to lunch, they kept asking me if the guest had arrived and if they were allowed to take autographs with the guest or even photos. The administration was very excited too because to most of them it was unbelievable. 

Having a space that could contain 100 people was not easy because there was another function happening at the same time. I convinced the ground staff and the Library to allow us to have our gathering there. The unrest was real during the arrangements. I was in a panic mode looking at that and this. Move that, move this, remove this table and replace with a red one, etc. I was wondering what the guest would like and not like like the microphone (handheld or clip-on mic), cold or warm water? Glass or bottle? 

At midday, everything was set and permission to have all students out of lessons was given. I kept my eyes on my phones just not to miss in case the guest calls and has reached the gate. A few minutes after noon, a WhatsApp message came from the saying, “SORRY JUST GOT AN EMERGENCY AND I CAN’T MAKE IT. I WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU!”

There’s a moment of SILENCE at this point.

I froze in all my body parts, mind and soul. My world froze. I walked from the library to the drama room, to the front desk, to the swimming pool to the field and I just couldn’t realize that I was doing that. I walked into the done organized room and looked at everything set and wondered what I was going to say. I started blaming myself for having planned this. I imagined the faces of the students. The time was flying so fast and slow at the same time. 

I walked into the corner of the room and told myself “Daaga, breath in and out. Smell the sweetness of the fresh air. Look at the beauty of this well-organized room. It has been transformed into a TEDx room just because of your efforts. You have done well. The guest is not coming so move on and enjoy THE NOW!” I thought of what I was going to say to the students who were starting to come to the library. My face showed excitement and the show was to go on (Like my theatre lecturer used to tell us).

This was the time I realized why people can die of cardiac arrest due to panic. When I was called up to the stage, I swear I couldn’t also tell want was going on. Damn, I enjoyed this moment. I cracked jokes as I mentally prepared them for the heartbreaking news. After a 5 min laughter session, I told them the words I had told myself and I want to tell you too.

“LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR YOU TO LIVE IN THE PAST OR THE FUTURE. LIVE THE ‘NOW’.”

I have never enjoyed a moment on stage as I did on Tuesday. I realized that when things go wrong in our careers, relationships, health, etc we end up hitting ourselves beyond repair. Our past injures us so much and we forget that we can let it go and use the now to make sure the future could be better. Some people think worrying about the future makes it better and they waste all their present thinking about only that. This keeps them stressed all the time and exhausted. 

Your gloomy face and bad attitude towards other people is because you keep in a worried state. Enjoy your present. You don’t know if whatever worries you know will even come to pass. You don’t actually know how long you will spend on this earth but you are worrying about WHEN YOU GROW UP! Work Hard Now. Smile Now! Love Now! Eat Now! Chase the dreams Now! HAVE A LIFE NOW!

Cherish the moments you are with the people you are with now. Chew the food and feel its taste bite after bite. Close your eyes and think about you in the now. When you go watching a show or film or a date, enjoy it and feel worthy to be alive and there. You can be alive now and not in the next 5 mins or the person you are with and imagine the regrets!

BE MINDFUL ABOUT THE NOW!

Yours Lovingly,Kasule Douglas ‘Benda’CEO Benda Bookings

Img Src: wired.com

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