Gilbert Simukanga
At first, I wrote a song, but I couldn’t record it. Then I wrote a poem, I couldn’t recite it with a clear sounding voice. Perhaps a letter will do.
I don’t know how to send it though; I don’t know the address of that place. Can I send a pigeon? Or will I have to burn the letter in the open sky? When you see the rising smoke from your childhood home, that’s me.
November 19th, 2024; I remember the evening vividly. I received the call from Wankunda, one sentence, ‘Nshinka is gone.’ Time stood still, my heart disintegrated. I couldn’t have gotten through that night without my girl.
The day that followed I travelled home, and the closer I drew the worst I felt, the more I bled. Mother was torn, Wankunda was torn and so was Brian, Ilu and everyone else, Kelvin was still in lockup when news reached him, he had to grieve you in chains.
I felt angry and betrayed; we were supposed to fight through it together, we were supposed to push through the ceiling, but perhaps I am the one that betrayed you. We hadn’t spoken in weeks, if I had made an effort to call, I would’ve known you were still depressed.
Anyway, I don’t mean to dampen the air, I just didn’t know how to start this letter, and honestly, I’m a bit nervous, I have been wanting to have a word but I don’t know how I would react if I saw you. How are you? Where are you?
I know you’re not in the soil; are you back to source? Can you read thoughts or are you in a dimension so high up you can’t perceive earth? Are you at peace?
I never got to say it out loud but I love you, and I really miss you. I have been trying to do this for a long time so I hope this letter reaches you.
Your little brother,
Gilbert.
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Author and Poet. Words for healing, reflection and spiritual growth; helping generations achieve purposeful living. All links here: https://linktr.ee/gilbertsimukanga
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