DEAR DARLING; YOU GHOSTED ME FOR CALLING YOU SEXY

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Dear Darling,

You ghosted me for calling you sexy.

A word that I hear is risky.

I thought we were being frisky.

Hoped that heaven would throw me a biscuit.

A spot for the title Habibi.

My brain says apologize,

but let’s be sincere;

it’s all going to be bullshit.

I knew we were going steady.

I knew that all lies would be put aside.

Besides, I knew that our worlds were different;

we don’t censor pride or hide behind the lies.

But fine.

Maybe I misread the signs.

Let’s say the wine and grind defined my lines.

Maybe our worlds didn’t collide

Dancing our moves out of sync

No clues; or blues

But, thought that’s what made us different;

hearts shielded in vines, safe lines defined, no lies

But fine

I called you sexy.

I meant it.

Simple, direct, true

No disrespect.

What followed was nothing but cruelty,

Punish me for sincerity

Apparently, no rhymes in kind could define my plight.

I will say this as plain as I can stomach it. I want to live out loud. Tell my friends I love them, call someone beautiful. Hope that they will take my breath away. I want to be bashful and sincere, no calculating fines with pride in mind. Lovers and friend who won’t flinch to my mind.

So yes, dear darling, you ghosted for calling you sexy. I’m realizing now; I am glad you grew cold on me. Not because I wanted to lose you, I didn’t. But your absence revealed what I truly want. I want my desire cherished. I want freedom to be myself. Speak truth. No fear of abandonment lurking behind every honest word. So, thank you. You taught me that I’d rather be too much for the wrong person than not enough for myself. I’d rather risk the ghost than live as one. Never fully present or fully seen. So, thank you for disappearing. Thank you for clearing space for someone who won’t vanish when I dare to be the  real me.

Written by

Mugabe Victor

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