Derrick Tumukunde
Do you move very fast to a new relationship
Or you wait or forget about a relationship after a serious heart break
Dear Diary
Today morning after watching a Reel from Sylivia Arinda Episode of Lessons to My Diary it got me thinking
Most of us in life don’t heal… or take a breather after a hard situation
We move fast we replace we dodge we look for how to cope very first or we look for how to forget fast through entertainment
As we always say washing away my stress
We leave one relationship on Friday,
and by Monday, they are already calling someone else “my person.”
We have new BBF before evening
Not because we are ready…
But because we are hurting.
In this Episode Sylivia Arinda shared something that stayed with me lessons not only from relationship but life itself self
“I thought a new relationship would help me forget… but instead, it reminded me of everything I hadn’t healed from.”
That hit me.
Because the truth is—
A new relationship or moving fast doesn’t heal old wounds.
It exposes them.
You don’t move on…
You carry the pain forward.
And slowly, without knowing,
you start punishing the new person
for what the old person did.
— You doubt love
— You overthink everything
— You fear being left again
— You struggle to trust
Not because the new person is wrong…
But because you never gave yourself time to become whole again.
Here’s what I’m learning:
Healing is not loneliness.
Healing is responsibility.
Responsibility to sit with your pain.
To understand your patterns.
To forgive… not them, but yourself.
Because if you don’t heal,
you will keep finding different people…
but living the same relationship.
So maybe the question is not:
“Should I move on quickly?”
But rather:
“Am I emotionally available… or just emotionally tired?”
Take your time.
Feel everything.
Rebuild yourself.
Because the next person you meet
deserves a healed version of you…
not a distracted one.
What do you think?
Do people heal better alone… or inside a new relationship?
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