Dear Old flame,

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It was the jackfruit tree that took my virginity.

I lied, it wasn’t you.

I am the first child and only girl to my parents, followed by five boys. I have grown up playing the big brother role to my brothers. While other girls played with dolls, I was busy wrestling with boys. Every time my brothers got into a fight, they would say proudly, “Let us go and call our sister, she can defeat all of you.” I would get ash and rub it around my face to look strong as I hyped myself like The Undertaker and then beat down all the boys. Posho was never my food but in my science class, my teacher taught us that posho gives us energy. I would eat posho and sometimes swallow the rest with water like medicine. While other girls learnt how to sew clothes I was playing football and building AK-47 guns from yam stems. The girl child in me was confused. I guess that’s why she ended up left-handed because she did not understand if she was right to act like a boy to support her young brothers, or because it was the only option left.

I should have started with “Dear ex, I hope this email finds you well,’’ because I am officially getting married on 14th February. I have to keep things official by sending you this letter via email. You said I would keep looking for you because, “girls never forget the first man they have sex with or the one who takes their virginity.” I want you to know that in the African setting, it is believed that girls are not allowed to climb trees, ride bicycles, swim or run because if they do, they lose their virginity. I did all this at 7 years old. So, you didn’t find anything like virginity when it came to me. Climbing jack fruit trees, swimming, running and riding bicycles. I ate and left no crumbs for you. No wonder these are my hobbies.

I have been seeing your messages, wanting to get back with me, should I say I took your virginity instead? Now that it is you who failed to get over me?

Your ex,

Muhirwe. D

Written by

Dorothy Tumuhirwe

Community Theatre Initiative Manager, Asst. Researcher, Tebere Arts Foundation. Playwright, Producer, Director, Peace and Conflict Specialist, Culturalist.

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