Shadreck Chikoti
We are presumed strong. And we are presumed to be right all the time or at least expected to be. Especially in a marriage setup. We are not supposed to be weak.
So you tell us to speak out? To cry?
Yet when we do, we are told: ‘You are wrong. You have suppositions that are not true. Your ideas are preconceived. You are paranoid.’ Yet our frustration does not only come from things that are factual, and right and noble. Sometimes our frustration comes from those paranoid thoughts, those negative things we feel, whether they are true or not. Whether they are just figments of our minds or not. It is those figments of our minds that drive us to kill ourselves.
So when we let them out, the first approach is not defense, not to make us see what is right and discover we are in the wrong, and that we always want to win and have an ego and must be able to let go and understand. The first thing to do is to understand that we are frustrated, stressed and that the frustration, whether justified or not, is real and is driving us insane. People have been known to kill themselves based on falsehoods, rumours, and illusions. After addressing our frustration and anger and madness, you can tell us how wrong we are and that we do not need to think that way, that you are with us.
Otherwise, the frustration is real; the fatigue is real, the anger is real, the stress is real, the need to get to a better place is real, whether from reality or an illusion.
Ndiye mzibambo akapanga chiganizo sichimakhala testing testing.
Men’s mental health. Timadutsa muzambiri.
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