Kanoni, Gomba; The One Place Your Money Ceases to Matter

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You are in Kanoni, Gomba District.

You’re attending something; the semblance of what is supposed to be a trade show. Four and twenty minutes from now, the clock will strike midnight.

You tell a lady, Mpayo UG Pineapple.

She is manning the Shark of all the counters – the most prestigious one – in the drinks’ section.

She says, Oyo temuyina.

You tell her, Kare Mpayo UG Coconut.

She holds her breath. Touches a few bottles. All, briefly. Clears her throat.

Naye tetumuyina.

Muyina UG Premium yeeka? you ask.

Nedda, she says. Tuyina Ambiance, mpozi ne Coffee.

You know better than to feign a legit status; better than to remain absorbed in that aura of self importance. You adjust your sails. You shift your goalposts.

You say, Bampeyo Ambiance.

She hands it to you for, I can’t remember, how much. But it’s a figure close to 1k.

You drink it in gallops. Tomorrow, you will wake up with nausea, and a throbbing headache. But who cares?

You’re nothing more valuable than a #MugOfPorridge

Written by

Daniel Kakuru

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