Nabuguzi. Kiwanuka
The culture shock in intermarriages should be told in several layers. I say this not because I’ve observed an interracial or inter-tribal couple, but because I follow Veekee James.
Veekee first got a niece (by her brother) last year, and this year she got a daughter.
On many occasions when the babies are side by side, she refers to them as sisters and on all occasions I’ve wanted to raise an irresistible yet irrelevant ‘point of correction’, but then I begrudgingly look away after acknowledging that Veekee James and I do not come from the same tribe.
See, in Buganda, we have an adage, ‘ebukojja teva muto’ that loosely prescribes that there’s no young person amongst your maternal relatives and therefore you cannot have siblings from there.
Often my uncle’s first son calls me “big sis”, something that always makes me want to back up and disappear like Homer Simpson does in his famous Gif.
Let me explain. Many African children are said to belong to their father’s lineage, and Buganda is no exception to that general rule. When asked to prove that you are a Muganda, you’re expected to state your genealogy right from your father to your grandfather and at least 2 great-grandfathers. This, you do while mentioning where they’re buried, if they’re dead. These are the people you belong to. You share a clan and a totem with them and therefore, for the males there, they’re either your father’s or brothers, and for the females, they’re either your aunt’s or sisters.
From your mother’s side, her brothers are your uncles. These uncles can only give birth to more mothers or uncles for you, because those children share a clan and totem with your mother.
Your mother’s sisters are your mothers, and I believe they’re the only ones whose children you can call siblings.
One of my cousins, who is possibly as old as my mother, made her daughter kneel to greet me when I was just a toddler. Why? Because she had to show respect to her mother. 😂 My niece, who must have been a preteen or a teenager already, had come to carry me, the baby, only for her to be told to kneel and greet me. She says she will never forget that.
From childhood, I’ve had people who are significantly older than I am kneel to greet me – people whose children are older than I am. So, for the many times I’ve seen Veekee say “Look at these sisters”, I want to say “No, Victoria is Adeife’s mother”
I imagine myself in a family setting as such, and I know I’d be such a weirdo for calling them strange.
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Written by
Lawyer. Founder, Director, CEO at Equate Foundation. Podcaster - Hash Time with Nabuguzi Kiwanuka. Drawer. Dance lover. Music lover. Risk-taker. Daily learner.
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