Godfrey Kutesa
Welcome to a New Week in Parenting Boys and here’s something interesting.
What does your son know about sex?
What does he think about women?
What does he know about crushes and has he ever got a crush?
What does he know about masturbation?
Last week on our fishing trip, while we were in the woods eating sugar cane with the boys, a door was opened to discuss sex. In fact, the boys initiated the talk themselves and I decided to join in without interrupting. Hearing what they spoke was jaw-dropping. I laughed and wondered where they got all that info.
Remember what I told you, the trick when you get a chance to discuss such sex topics, don’t come off telling them what to do and what not to do. You’ll lose it. I wanted them to share more so here’s the trick I used which I also want you to learn in case you want to share a talk with your small man.
Like you’ll hear in the audio attached.
Start by paying attention to what they say. Show interest in what they know. Tactfully drive them to share more information on what they’ve heard and in between put a pose, to find out where they must have got or heard that (wrong) information.
Then go ahead to encourage them to share while you pretend that you don’t know. All this is about getting trust. Boys share more when they know they can trust that person and won’t be judged.
After all is said, start diluting the wrong information that you’ve heard. At that point, give them your perspective of the things they’ve talked about. Point out live examples so they can feel the reality. If possible give an example about your own self.
Remember the key here is to create a space where they can talk and laugh but above all, learn from you. Sex talk doesn’t have to be in form of headmaster student format.
Listen, Laugh and you teach/ correct from what they know.
I hope this podcast from our 2nd fishing trip can help you start that conversation with your son. Fishing trips are such a good idea. Can’t wait for our 3rd Fishing Trip to talk more with the boys as we fry fish in the woods.
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