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Back to the Past: How Boda Bodas Will Influence the Evolution of Ugandankind

In the year 2025, very many things have changed. The Uganda we know now is different from the Uganda in the future, as it should be. But one thing hasn’t changed…Boda Boda’s. To be honest, they have changed, but for the worse.

During the 2021 elections, a visibly tired M 6+1 stood for presidency again and made many promises to several groups just so they could keep him in power for another 5 years. The general consensus now is that he stays in power just so that the people in his circles can keep on eating money. I mean, why else would a chap with over 30 years in power and over 100,000 heads of cattle still be looking for in State House? Tekikola sense

Anyway, one of the groups he made promises to was the boda riders, and the general public has since come to accept them as a permanent fixture despite several attempts by the City Council to evict them out of the City Centre.

In 2025, these are noob stunts..
In 2025, these are noob stunts..

4 years later and it’s beginning to look like ‘the fossil’ as he is now fondly known by the citizens is going to stand for yet another term in 2026.

It is important to note that this era will go down in history as the point Ugandan’s gave up on writing fiction and novels because real life was dramatic enough to entertain the public. Television viewership numbers had also dropped drastically for the same reasons. The only thing that is booming now is Virtual Reality technology where people are now spending increasing longer hours to escape from real life. But every once in a while, one must cross town to buy groceries, get to work, attend to that booty call, or whatever other reasons people get out of their houses for at the time. And that means they have to deal with the boda’s.

The riders upon realizing that the fossil will be standing again are now milking the opportunity for all its worth to get as many favorable conditions for themselves as they can. More bikes are appearing on the streets and their road usage and respect for other users is deteriorating faster than my hairline is currently doing. Times are truly hard. If you think life with Bodas is hard now, my friend, you shouldn’t shower (that’s what tonaba means, right?) Things are terrible in the future, yo!

But no matter how bad things are, biology and evolution continue unabated. These elements have seen the worst over the course of human history and this is just another day on jobo for them. So they do their thing and the humans of Uganda begin adjusting to these uncouth mannerisms of the boda riders.

I mean, you still need to speed dial Kato Boda when Pamela 2 calls at three in the morning telling you she is home alone and has developed horns. But the biggest danger is when you are not on the boda coz they ride on every millimeter of the road. Sometimes it gets so bad they even climb the street lights. Yup, that bad!

When it's Pamela one who is in outside countries, you'll probably need something faster than a boda.
When it’s Pamela one who is in outside countries, you’ll probably need something faster than a boda.

So what has evolution decided to do for Ugandankind, it’s given us chameleon eyes. Thasright! The Humans of Uganda now spot larger eyes that can rotate 360 degrees and even see through the brain in order to view what’s behind. And the eyes have the ability to turn in different directions independent of each other. People are no longer mean to cross-eyed people behind the backs because we are now all like that. In case you are having a slow day, this is one of the good things about this particular situation.

The future has many more surprises for us that I’ll be ruining for you in my ‘Back to the Past’ posts, so let me leave you to ponder on this one for now. Till the next time, if ever there is one….

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Written by Byagaba Roland

Roland is a random badman. He suffers from Mephobia.

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