So, the other morning, I entered a taxi at the Ntinda stage just after DFCU. There were about 5 people inside and luckily, the third seat near the window was still available. I sat, pulled my phone out, opened the PDF reader and opened the eBook I’m currently reading. If there’s anything the long taxi commutes are good for, it’s getting through your reading list. As the taxi started filling up, the chap in front of me excused himself and moved out of the vehicle. Damn seat fillers, I muttered to myself.
Soon enough, there were like 3 seats left and I started hoping there were no more seat fillers so we could take off. That’s when I noticed some commotion via the kameme row. The one where the conductor sits. The chap next to the window was attempting to get out but the one seated next to him didn’t wanna know.
Ko him in a thick northern accent, ‘I askti disi mani if you were actually going when I entered di taxi and he seyid yes. Now wheris he going, heh?’
Ko the seat filler, ‘Nze mani ndeka nfulume.’
Ko our star, ‘No sa!! You said you ha going so you ha going! No more joking joking around with our time!’
Ko me while putting my phone away ‘Ho, eno filimu ya kikompola!’
Ko the conductor, ‘Omusajja muleke afulume. Kati yegwe agenda musasulila?’
Ko Rambo, ‘Ah ah. Ham not paying for disi one. Diz are yo people so you pay for them!’
Ko every other serious passenger in the taxi, ‘ Eh!! Leero bagenda yiga!’
They say when an animal is trapped, it’ll find whichever way it can to escape. Despite our ability to put on underwear, we are still animals. This is me just giving you background history to the plot twist I witnessed next.
Nga we are there still cheering Chuck Norris on, nga doesn’t the seat filler decide to show us he has a side hustle as a yogi. Dude fully opened the window he was next to, contorted his body like a jellyfish and before we could say ‘bichi bino’, he was outside the taxi.
To add more black pepper to the plot twist, we realised he was lame when he put his arm back through the window, pulled out his support stick and bounced away, leaving us still angaz.
After recovering from the sneaky defeat, the legit passengers consoled themselves by resuming the, ‘Eh, bajayiga’ chant. But for me I don’t go with the crowd like so.
When the badi guy is so good at being bad and outsmarts the good guys, I give them their due props. So I started my slow hand clap but had to abandon it prematurely after the other guys started eyeing me like I might also be a seat filler. It didn’t help that I was also seated near a window. Imagine, the whole me being suspected as a seat filler. Such kamanyilo. I mschewed them all and went back to my book.