By Mugabe Victor
I Victor Mugabe, self proclaimed blogger and master of procrastination, on the 21st of April 2020, I was caught in a bit of a pickle. Not even the canning of the great hate could have saved me from this one.
I had the task to write about 5 of my favorite books. I tried, and then miserably failed. Unfortunately for me, I only knew one book, Advanced Mathematics by Backhouse .
“Why that one book?” You ask, well it I because I never complete any other of my literary books. The last I read and kind of completed was an odd tale about two grown men having a dick measuring contest. And personally I finished it so as to impress a cute girl in my class. Shamed as I may be I swear by buttons on my screen, I will restore my honour. I Victor, shall read a novel this week and summarize it some time later in the future. #procrastination
As you, my few dedicated readers might have realized; i tend to exaggerate. In summary I once read a book I completed-ish.
It was a tale about a child soldier thrown back into normal civilian life. He eventually turns into a world known cassenova and travels the world making his way into rich young ladies under garments until he is eventually killed due to mistaken identity.
I am not kidding. It was that heartbreaking and I loved it. In conclusion, lesson number one is summed up to I’ve got to read more.
My second lesson, though tragically anticlimactic, deserves a seat in the hall of fame. I have learnt that an idol mind is the devil’s workshop. I finally realize that the saying has actual joost to it.
Let me explain. See; one of my hobbies includes surfing through my Facebook friend suggestions. This comes with the added benefits of finding new friends (stalking on people you are too shy to talk to), ignoring the boring looking ones, and sending friend requests to the pretty ladies.
What came to my attention one tragic morning was the nicely edited profile picture with a phone number next to it.
“Oh, my God, could this be real?” I wondered.
After a quick skip, dail and save, I contacted the phone number.
Turns out I had contacted a pimp.
They were glad as to send me the details of their transactions, however, I still lack the balls required to contract an STD.
Aside from all that; I learnt that my life has been a mess without someone down my spine to tell me what to do. Therefore set up my little daily routine to keep me feeling like I have something to live for. But that’s a story for another Ug blog month challenge
Thank you Covid 19, you’ve made me a better man