I just came back after a long morning walk in the rain in Goa. I am in the tropical part of India. During this time in August, it rains throughout the month.
As I am writing I feel slight heaviness in the forehead. I can hear a frequency inside more like a sound at the imaginary intersection of eyes, ears, and the mind inside the head. Someday I will be to articulate this frequency better as I listen to it more often.
I am writing about a reflection which came to me while walking in the rain today.
I call it Duality and the between.
Duality from the definition Google(oxford language) means an instance of opposition or contrast between two concepts or two aspects of something; a dualism.
this-that, yes-no, like-dislike, agree-disagree, good-bad, positive-negative, and so on.
Various constructs which play in my head through the duality while perceiving the reality. Sometimes arising from deep inside, the subconscious. The constructs or patterns or conditioning you may call ingrained so deeply within. That creating a field inside and outside during my interaction with the world. Nature, animals, people everything perceiving this field. The field emitted from inside and traversing through this reality to another, to this world to another, to the infinite and to the universe. As I emit this field I interact or act from this space. The constructs from the past interacting with the present within the field of thoughts.
I sometimes feel the blur in front of my eyes as the thoughts from this field keep going in a loop. I am seeing what is in front of me but I am actually not. When I come out of the loop I feel like coming out of an illusion. Its as if I was under a spell. In here observer and the observed creating the dualism.
Even if I like-dislike, agree-disagree as the perception or the energy goes through the constructs it absorbs and holds. It makes the constructs stronger and the field stronger hence manifesting into thoughts.
The things I may be rejecting are the things I am holding to? Consciously I may feel I have rejected it but have I actually?
When a situation, event, or incident doesn’t fall under this field reactions arise. The reaction not only arises from the field but also intensifies the field taking up and dissipating energy from the body. Hence the low in energy after an intense reaction such as anger.
The interactions in the form of events, situations, incidents with people, and surroundings look independent and don’t seem to be connected with others. It feels as if one can forget about a situation and focus on something else and think as if it never happened. The limit of the mind failing to see and deluding itself from the trigger kicking a chain reaction which is to unfold in the interactions with the reality in the future.
Sometimes in relationships, it is so overwhelming to see and feel especially in conflicts. The mind battling between expectations and extremes. I feel my mind to be operating without stopping. Thinking, analyzing, rationalizing, and trying to make sense through this field. Trying to fall in the extremes in the dualism as fast as possible and seeking comfort in it for the moment.
There is no way to reject or suppress the sensation and feeling. If I do reject. It may fall under the field of another extreme.
Then I take a step back and just feel my head, feel the heat in the head, feel the heaviness of the head, feel the strong field holding in the head, and sometimes it goes on for days. Then gradually I feel the release from this field it feels lighter as I see and perceive better. I feel more alive and open. I referred to the head, particularly as I felt it quite recently. The sensations usually arise from across the body.
Time and space play such a critical role in our lives. It’s our medium to navigate reality. There is space-time between the perception and the judgment or the conclusion or the thought. There is a space-time between the problem and the solution. There is a world between love-hate, positive-negative, good-bad. There is a universe in the duality needing to enquired and explored.
As more and more I observe the dualism I see the extremes melting into the infinity present between the extremes. There is so much to explore and flow to feel the infinity and the unity in the between. The between where there is time/space for everyone where there is space for good-bad, positive-negative. The between where there is love and care. The between where the energy/vibrations are conserved magnified amplified to the people, nature, world, planet, galaxies, stars, and the universe. The between encapsulating the universe in my fingertip at this moment to type.
As I write I feel the limits with the words, limit with the word between. During these days I am exploring words, sounds, visuals to stretch the limits and express the between I feel. The article featured image is a painting I just made to express my feeling of duality and the between.
I would like to listen to you about what you feel and expand my between.
I feel my forehead to be much lighter now.
As I enquire.
Love- Since I used the word love I feel it is necessary to convey how I relate to love at this moment. I relate love to listen with my all from this space between and respond.
Subconscious- of or concerning the part of the mind of which one is not fully aware but which influences one’s actions and feelings. (definition from oxford language, google)
Reality- the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them. (definition from oxford language, google)