Hair Stories – Part 2

Recently, someone asked me what was my intention for this year. I told them, it’s floating. They laughed. I didn’t. I calmly told them that I was serious enough to engage a coach to teach me how to float.

They asked me again, what I meant. I told them, to simply float. To feel light. To walk light. Much more than floating on water. I also told them it wasn’t about this year, it was my intention for this 2022-2032 decade, INSHALLAH!

While I can swim from deep end to deep end, I struggle with floating like a bad egg in water. I fight the water. I become stiff. I sink. I can never enjoy the freedom of losing control, coasting, going by the tide, floating.

Here is the real deal.

Over the course of life, we accumulate anger, pain, betrayal, disappointment, bad vibe and loads of negativity from nature and nurture.

We internalise things told to us “you will never amount to much, you will die young, you will never make it, you are  …while those who want to continue exploiting our kindness or generosity keep making us feel guilty of their sad and often self-inflicted mess of their life.

We wear this composite of a mess like a dress. Sometimes we smear it on our face like oil. It sits squarely on our shoulders. We lose our walking posture. We stop walking. We start crawling.

We are thankful if we make it through each day under all that weight. We can barely swim but we carry the weight of so many people who feel entitled to our existence. We can never float because the weight is too much.

I wonder how I made it through 2 decades of carrying such weight, including 14 years of carrying loads of hair to remind me of the cause of “overcoming and becoming”

This decade, I choose to focus on my wellness, and well-being – losing weight, floating, walking light, family, and all things floatation. I am learning to say No, where No means No. I am learning to be unavailable. I am learning to forgive but not to forget what trauma feels like.

If I don’t strike your chords anymore, this is the moment to unfriend, and stop feeling entitled that I have to be the thing you want me to be.

Have a floatfull Sunday!