Old Schooler

It’s midnight, the dark of night and all I hear is the whisper of the shadows dancing to the silent ballads playing in my head as I’m reminded that yet another year has gone by. It’s been neither here nor there, been disappointed and then brought back to life.  A year of lost love and new found love. I’ve been proved to, time and time again this year, that I’m only human, I crush and I break down,  and then I have to pick myself up.  I’m afraid and I’m stronger than I give myself credit.

The year I’ve learnt that your soul mate is not necessarily the person you’re to spend the rest of your life. It’s also the year that’s taught me that we should give a chance to what we deserve rather than what we want every now and then and things just might turn out for the best. Then there’s this crazy new family I’ve been born into that I just can’t seem to get over. They’re awesome, we fight, we tease, we laugh till our ribs hurt and make plans that we never follow through. But at least we always have a more achievable plan B. Oh, just before I forget we also study together. They can only best be known as firm 11.

On this day I now know I can give that old school love, the love that understands when a mother wants her little one to have friends but still not be all out friendly, available and shyt. The love that understands a father that will not let his child go hungry but not have to be there at every beck and call of this child, if only to teach them that life isn’t a walk through. I know the love that needs me to be there for a girlfriend that’s going through all the disappointments of life, the one that’s at that time of her life when it’s all cruel and she absolutely has no clue about what to do or not do, and know that all I’ve got to do is be there with a bottle of wine and some candy. Also the love that calls for my support for another girlfriend at the peak of her life, the one where I can’t possibly stay calm because my friend is getting married. As long as I am here, as long as there is love. Now I’m old school enough to know the love of a man, the love that calls for patience, tolerance and commitment.

Change is nothing but change, it has arrived for me. I’d like to believe it’s been a year of growing into maturity, into more adventure, into appreciating the timeless and priceless appreciation of the girls and boys that rock my world. It’s a change that I have to endure, my loved ones have to endure the changes that I make in relation to them but also life has new meaning to me. There’s beauty, more friendships to maintain and build, a faith with my God to renew, family ties to strengthen.

There’s a whole new world to celebrate as an old schooler and I’m going to embrace it with all I’ve got. Welcome old school.

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