I Would Destroy the World to Have You

The hand in her hair tightened, tilting her head back at an angle that was just this side of uncomfortable. He was using it to throw her off balance and he took full advantage that opportunity, using his mouth to take full possession of hers. His tongue did more than the gentle exploration he was so often fond of; it dominated and fucked into her mouth with near desperation as his body pressed against her, the edge of the table digging into her back. He had never been quite this aggressive before and to be this today, of all days, was equal parts frustrating and enticing.

It had been months of his hovering. Never letting her forget that she was his and while she had tried to fight him, he had taken that as proof that he had yet to break her; something that had delighted him to no end. The more she resisted him, the dirtier he fought back, often leaving her feverish in yearning. He left a deep ache throbbing within her; one she wasn’t sure anyone else could satisfy anymore.

I do not want to break you, Jani, he had whispered to her numerous times, his power holding her still as his fingers fucked in and out of her at a languid pace. I want you as you are; I will accept nothing less, he had told her as she had screamed in frustration. He was always careful to never get her over the edge, insisting that if she wanted to cross that threshold, she had to do so willingly. That it would happen when she wanted him to take her there and not a moment too soon. However, he had pushed her too far. Jani could barely stand the near constant edging, the painful arousal in his presence, and his refusal to let her come.

Sometimes she fought him, took her frustration out on him but it was difficult to keep up when his power thrummed through her, invading her soul inch by inch until she was screaming in pleasure. He would watch her writhing as he kept her on that edge. Running his fingers though her hair, peppering kisses over her face, and whispering his undying devotion to her but never letting her over. Never allowing her to be sated but also not letting her come down until she was sobbing with need.

Then, and only then, would he hold her and tell her how proud he was of her fierce will. Tell her he needed her and that he would wait until she willingly accepted him into her very being. It was a punishment of sorts – she knew it was – and yet it worked. Every morning, after he had invaded her and had his power stroking her soul until she was delirious, she would wake up feeling chastised. Almost meek, in a way. She would be unwilling to defy him, save for that last line she had refused to cross.

It was all different now though. A whimper escaped her mouth when his other hand let go of the bruising grip on her waist, stroking down her hip and coming to rest at her heated core. His movements were sloppy today, aggressive in a way he had not been for a long time. He had originally been this pushy at the start, when his control was still tenuous, right until he had forced an orgasm from her flushed body even as she had begged him not to do it, horror and shame filling her. He had cried after that, burying his face in her lap, begging her forgiveness, and swearing he would never do it again. Jani had stared at him blankly then, tear tracks already dried on her own face. She had felt the ice in her heart give a little as she looked down at the sobbing form of the man she loved. Had loved. He was hardly the same man anymore.

Yet there they were again, with his fingers making quick work of her belt and opening up her jeans as her fingers clung to his arms. His control was tenuous again and he was so frustrated it seemed he was not even noticing that for the first time, she was kissing him back. Even as his tongue dominated her mouth, she was responding willingly like she hadn’t, not since… since before. He released a growl as his fingers breached her panties, finding her soaked. He always found her wet. His lips abandoned hers with an air of impatience and settled on her neck as the hand in her hair moved to the base of her head. He clearly did not want to waste any time.

Jani let out a cry in surprise, not sure if it was because of the way his teeth had immediately sunk down on the most sensitive part of her neck or the three fingers he had shoved into her wet core. A wave of goosebumps washed over her, heat flushing as he worked her body over. The sounds coming out of her were desperate now, as he mercilessly worked against that one spot inside her that made her want to scream. She wanted this now; she wanted him even after everything. However, she had not been prepared for how this would go. Something had changed and her body was no longer just thrumming with need but was rushing almost uncontrollably towards a peak she had not felt in far too long.

He would stop, any second now, despite his impatience and frustration, he would stop. She knew this but she did not want him to and her desperation fuelled the speed with which she was rushing towards her climax. His fingers rolled inside her, the persistent massage increasing the waves of pleasure within her to an exquisite high that made her claw at his back desperately.

“P-please… Jon… please…” she sobbed, not caring how wanton she sounded and almost afraid that he would stop the one time she vehemently hoped he would not.

“Yes love, I’ve got you,” he whispered to her, his lips now placing light kisses on her collarbones.

It sounded like he was saying more but she barely heard a word as she felt his power whisper along her skin before invading her with a thrum, straight into her soul. She choked on his name, her back arching as the pleasure reached its crescendo and tipped over, letting her come for the first time in months. It was everything and yet too much at the same time. The sounds around her became muted and she sighed when his power retreated from inside her.

Jani came down slowly, a warm and golden haze settling into her bones. She thought she might feel tears on her face but she was not sure. Maybe she would get around to moving in the next few weeks but by then, there would probably be no evidence of tears left. She was contented and happy and this is where she wanted to be for a while, she thought to herself, until a choked sound penetrated her haze.

She opened her eyes slowly, blinking fast as she realised that those were indeed tears, only to come face to face with the stricken gaze of her lover. A cold lance of awareness fully pierced her haze and she leaned forward in confusion. Or at least she tried to. His hands were gripping her arms almost painfully and holding her in place, as he stared at her in horror. Uncomfortable awareness creeped in at the edges of her buzz and she opened her mouth to try and… and what, comfort him?

“I’m sorry,” he choked, his voice gravelly and unsteady. She could practically feel the self-loathing in it.

His power was whipping around them in panicked arcs, making the air a little hard to breathe. “I… I… Jani,” he started, seemingly unable to start the sentence and his grip tightened, making her wince.

He immediately let her go, his fingers splayed and arms stiff as he stepped away from her as if she had burned him. The loss of his body heat bothered her even as his power in the air became even more agitated.

“I didn’t mean to… I had promised you that I would not…” he tried again, still stepping away from her and okay, that was enough of that.

Jani does not know where some of her more stupid plans come from but she knows they always start with the familiar stirring of defiance she was feeling in her gut at that moment.

“No,” she snapped and took the few steps needed to close the gap between them. “You do not get to do this to me now.”

Jon, on his part looked at her, bewildered and a little ashamed, which is probably why he did not fight her when she pushed him back so he could sit in the chair behind him. She had no illusions; he had  allowed her to push him back and that was probably due to his self-hatred in that moment. While he had played and toyed with her on a daily, sometimes even violating her autonomy, he had never physically harmed her. If anything, he had always seemed to do everything he could to get her to trust his word and his reaction here was…

“What are you doing, Jani?” he asked her, interrupting her thoughts.

That was a good question, she would like to know the answer herself but she did not have time to think through it.

“Y-you do not get to back down from this,” she said, ignoring the way his gaze dropped in shame for a second before he determinedly looked back at her, his hands clutching at his knees. She could have phrased that better but her pulse was racing a mile a minute and his power in the air was making it hard to think.

“I’m so sorry… This… I didn’t think I would lose control like that,” he said, speaking in halting sentences. His eyes wide and begging her to believe him.

“Except you didn’t,” she said and he frowned, his eyes searching her face in confusion. Right, well words were not the best form of communication here anyway.

Using his moment of confusion to her advantage, Jani quickly slipped out of her jeans and her soaked panties. Now or never, her mind helpfully provided and she held onto that, chanting it repeatedly at the back of her head. She bent over him and undid the buttons on his jeans, unzipping them quickly.

He gave a gasp right before an infusion of his power froze her in place. “What do you think you’re doing?” and there was an edge of hardness to his tone, despite his bewilderment.

“What you’ve wanted me to do, for a long time,” she said, glaring down at him.

There’s a flash of anger in his gaze and she could feel the tremor of his power slide her before it stilled once more. “How many times do I have to tell you that I am not interested in forcing you?” and that was definitely steel in his voice but despite the way that had her heart pounding, she refused to back down.

“It’s too late for that Jon. If you really cared about my choices you would not have-” Jani cut herself off. That was an old argument she did not want to rehash. She took a deep breath and tried again. “You’re not forcing me now, Jon. If anything, it looks like you’re doing the hard opposite of that.”

His frown deepened as his nostrils flared and usually, this was a bad sign but as long as his power held her, she did not think he would up and go to torture some unsuspecting underlings the way he usually did to vent his anger.

“Forcing, coercion; none of that!” he snapped. “You would want to use this as a reason to prove to yourself that I took you unwillingly or to foster the illusion that I am not the same man you’ve known and loved for years but yo-”

“Shut up! Shut up, okay? You’re not my Jon! Not anymore, but I am beyond that now!” she hissed before she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. This was not supposed to be an argument. “You walked in here, frustrated from your day and unwilling to hear whatever I had to say but I don’t think you even know what I want anymore. I have wanted you for a while now and you have not noticed. I have been ready to… to…”

Jani faltered, flushing as she tried to find a way to convey that she was ready for him to fulfil his promises to take her over the edge and make her forget. Dear god, she needed to forget. She glanced away from his widening eyes in mild embarrassment and shivered when she felt his power caress over her skin before invading her mind, reading her intentions and letting go in quick surprise.

Now or never, the chant continued and she reached into his jeans, grateful in passing that he rarely ever wore boxers, and pulled out his cock. Jon closed his eyes and sucked in a shuddering breath as she stroked him, his hands gripping his knees even tighter. She reached down to stroke his cheek with her other hand and he opened his eyes, showing her the intensity of his want for her. It always slammed into her with the subtlety of a truck, making her breathless, but today she took power from it as she stood over him, making him harden fully in seconds.

This is what she had wanted and the bastard, after teasing her until she was feverish with need for months,  months, had been too distracted in the past week to see that she was not resisting him anymore.

“After an age of telling me I can only come when I want to, you fail to notice when I finally do,” she continued. She was aiming for unamused and reproachful but she probably missed the mark, what with how shaky and breathless her voice was as she positioned herself on Jon’s lap, ready to take him in.

His hands held her hips as she glanced up from his lap to look at him and something ached in her chest at the sheer adoration on his face. There was wonder behind his worshipping look and she felt a shudder down in her soul at how this being, with all his power, revered her… needed her. Then his cockhead slipped past her wet lips and she moaned at the sensation on her overstimulated core. She tried to sink down at once but he wouldn’t let her, his power holding her as she sunk down slowly, feeling him inch by agonizing inch until he was nestled deeply within her trembling cavern.

“Oh, you bastard,” she said but it came out breathy and thin just before his lips captured hers again.