I hate you

I hate you.
I hate you because you make it bloody hard to move on.
Here I am, trying to convince myself that I can hack this thing on my own,
But look at me.
A mad mess missing and musing over memories of you,
Which in turn makes it hard to move along.

You know what?
Fuck You!
Yes fuck You!
Fuck you for existing in your perfectly lovely aura
Fuck you for the horror I see when I look into a mirror reflecting the pain of losing you.
Fuck you for making me better.
Fuck you for leaving me to fight this bitter battle flapping like a fish on dry land.
Fuck you!

But I still love you.
I still love every inch of your soul.
I love every breath that you take.
Every hair out of place.
Every blink you make.
The curl on your lip as you smile
When you say you miss me even when it hasn’t been that long of a while.

I love you!

But I hate you.
I hate the sound you make as we sleep.
I hate the way you smirk and snap at me.
How you sometimes fail to see me for me.
How you take my words twist them and throw them back.
I hate your class.
I hate how your further studies take you further away from me.

But I love you.
I love you so much I’d die for you.
Ok, I’m not really sure about that.
But I’d give my life for you.
Yes. Now I’m sure.
You See?
This is what your love does to me.
It confuses me.
And I’m not complaining, I’m only mentioning and intimating.

You are so damn intimidating!
It’s annoying.
But also arousing.
You make it so easy to love you and also,
Hate you.
You are my punishment from God, my Pandora.
And yet my life’s elixir.

Someone once said to love is to hate.
I hate you very very very much.


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Written by Jason Ntaro (0)

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