At the core

At the core…

Let me paint you a picture of what it means to be a single Christian woman of 38 years. Of what it means to inhabit my space a little.

I love Yesu. I have come to know Him through His Word and through lived experience.

I have served in the church for years. Church conflict isn’t new to me. Abuse certainly continues to shock me. I know people are sinners just like me. And I know we aren’t always truly representing Yesu.

I am constantly being told, implicitly that I need to get married.

Implicit is the idea that there must be something wrong with me. How could I be single so long? Never mind the assumption that we all think marriage is a goal! But I must be bitter…a bitter older woman. How could I not be?!

And wait, I also have endometriosis, adenomyosis, fibroids. These are real diseases that tear away at me. Physically, emotionally and mentally. Not that we can even speak easily about such seemingly private issues!

This means I might never have children. In my specific case, I can’t have them naturally. My tubes were taken out. Implicit is the idea that I cannot be a true woman if I cannot have a biological child. Yeah, womanhood is only motherhood!

Whatever reasons you may have to explain my issues…you are implicitly, and sometimes even audaciously explicitly telling me that I am not enough. That there is something wrong with me. Simanya curses and such nonsense.

The “you” here… is often, family, friends, the church and obviously the world.

This is such a great shame. A real shame.

That a human being is reduced to what you have decided is the standard of worthy.

Because God is gracious, I know better. Purely a mercy of God! I was told I mattered. Right from childhood.

And mostly, I believe what God says about me in His Word, more than what I might even think of myself.

I am imago dei. Made in God’s image. Pure and simple.

Naye do you know how many women, children and even men suffer identity issues because they are constantly attacked at their core?!

Who are you?

Whose are you?

These questions matter. The sooner one resolves them, the easier life gets. At least with regard to accepting self and being able to love others.

At the core. I am who God says I am. Made in His image.

Abalala mwe-sortinge!

How I wish we would all truly believe this about ourselves, and others!!

So help us God