DMT
The city screams, a dull ache behind my temples. Sunlight, a cruel intruder, pierces the blinds, revealing the wreckage of last night. Empty bottles, like fallen soldiers, litter the floor – casualties of a solo campaign. The air hangs heavy, thick with the scent of stale beer and regret.
My reflection mocks from the bathroom mirror. Bloodshot eyes stare back, framed by mussed hair that whispers of tangled sheets and forgotten goodbyes. Last night’s bravado, the carefully constructed mask, has crumbled, revealing the raw vulnerability beneath.
It was a circuit, a well-worn path I tread each weekend. Friday nights at the bar, a sea of faces blurring under the strobe lights. A desperate hope that somewhere in the throng, amidst the clinking glasses and forced laughter, I’d find a connection, a spark to ignite the lonely embers within.
Saturdays were dedicated to the throbbing heart of the club. The pulsating music, a temporary escape from the hollowness that gnawed at my core. Dancing with strangers, a fleeting touch, a shared joke – all a desperate attempt to fill the void.
But come Sunday morning, the music fades, replaced by the deafening silence of my apartment. The empty bottles become accusatory witnesses, and the exhaustion weighs heavy, not just on my body but on my soul.
The truth, a bitter pill to swallow, is that I wasn’t hunting. I was the wounded animal, disguised in glitter and forced smiles. Searching for someone to share the night, not because I craved company, but because I couldn’t bear the thought of facing the emptiness alone.
This “single and searching” narrative, a societal script I blindly followed, has left me hollow. It’s time to rewrite the story. Maybe happiness isn’t found on a crowded dance floor, but in the quiet moments of self-discovery.
I gather the empty bottles, the remnants of a failed quest. Today, I choose a different path. No circuit, no manufactured connection. Today, I choose myself. I’ll mend the broken pieces, one sunrise at a time. The city throbs outside, but within, a flicker of hope ignites. Today, I choose to heal…
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