This just in…

The Anti-sports Hunting Association (ASHA) in partnership with The Human Sanctuary (THS) uncovered a ring of sports hunters who were illegally hunting human beings for entertainment purposes.

The ring of hunters are high standing members in society and are currently facing charges of human trafficking, hunting without a permit, illegal possession of firearms and possession of human beings minus a permit.

Ceaser Simba, the CEO of Pride Associates and one of the accused, stands strong to his word and sees no fault in what he does.

“The problem is that these activists are just ignorant to what we are doing. The ratio of human to animal is at a staggering 1:3. Do you understand what this means? It means that if at any moment these creatures decided to stage a barbarian revolt, we have a slim chance of survival. I say, instil fear into them! Let them know what we are capable of. Another thing these human hugging activists don’t realise is that we are helping to reduce the population of human things in turn reducing the obscene amount we pay to keep and look after these creatures in sanctuaries. Look at where our taxes go! To protecting those that killed us and emptied our bodies and hung us on walls and in lobbies as a display of accomplishment!”

After a discussion with leading counsels in the judge’s chambers, the court this morning decided to postpone the hearing four moons from today and placed the accused under house arrest.

In lieu of these events, activists have taken to the streets demanding the accused stand trial immediately which prompted the presence of anti-riot police. The activists suggest that the legal system has cracks through which the rich easily seep through:

“How can we call this justice? The mistreatment of any being is the mistreatment of self. We cannot stand by twiddling our thumbs wishing and hoping as the justice system slowly slides into the pockets of the rich! “

Said one of the protestors who ended with a loud:


In a phone interview with the spokesperson of police, SSP Ziraba Zebra, she called for peace and understanding

“We completely understand the plight of the activists but we also let the arm of the law follow due process. If we are to rush this then we just might not get to the root of the situation. We request that we all reflect in our hearts and realise that violence only aggravates the situation.”

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Written by Jason Ntaro (0)

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