Want to have a happy relationship?

Don’t settle. Don’t do it.

Stop wondering if voodoo is your next best bet for recourse. The best dating advice you will ever hear, and one you should loyally heed, is self-improvement.

Work on yourself. Conquer your fears, address your anxieties, identify and fix your inadequacies. Become a better person emotionally, professionally, socially, spiritually, financially and in all things that matter. Most importantly, understand and grow your value.

Two culprits you must work on ridding yourself of that ruin potentially great relationships: Jealousy, Insecurities.

Jealousy is proof that your subconscious believes your internal capabilities to be no match for the external threat. Insecurities are a manifestation of thinking you are not good enough. That, perhaps without even being aware of it, you think your partner can do better.

Jealousy is for the weak. Insecurities are unattractive. Up your internal self-worth by extending your external accomplishments. Make better friends, change your wardrobe and wear clothes that radiate your inner beauty on the outside and make you feel more confident.

Find a (better) job, learn a new language, ditch the co-dependency and become emotionally independent. Travel, learn about the world, get a degree. Become a better cook, improve other people’s lives, engage in meaningful community work. Own your happiness, live an all-around fulfilling life.

Quit smoking, exercise, declutter your house, clean up your social media. Ditch bad habits, stop gossiping, be there for your loved ones.

Be so good everyone else can only be a different kind of good, but not better than you in your own eyes. Be your biggest fan and most passionate admirer and encourager.

You are only ready to be in a relationship and share your life when you are at such a point that you have attained a considerable degree of personal satisfaction with who you are and what you can bring into another person’s life.

And the worst thing you can do to yourself, is to eventually be at this point, and settle. Allow yourself to end up with someone who does not match your level of hard-earned personal accomplishment. They will dampen your shine with all the garbage you worked so hard to overcome.

They will feel intimidated by your independence and mastery of personal happiness. They will bring you their jealousies, inadequacies, adult indecision, confusion and insecurities. They will be a stone to your soaring balloon. Don’t settle. Don’t do it.

So go out there and become good enough. Good enough for yourself by your own standards. When you emerge from the other side of the rigorous honing and polishing, anyone that comes into your life and makes you feel you are not the best thing that could ever happen to them does not deserve you. Keep moving.

But remember, that you will never find a perfect partner. So in every suitor, expect shortfalls. Learn to evaluate flaws in any potential relationship. Decide if they truly interfere with the possibility of a beautiful connection. Discover the joy of loving a flawed human being with your whole heart. Good luck and go be joy to the world.

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