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Pain

I have been thinking a lot about pain.

The pain of loss

The hurt which comes with rejection, loneliness, emptiness –

The aches, physical, mental, emotional

The trauma, which remains long after the event –

I have been thinking about the pain of things we can’t speak of

And when we can, mostly to just a few people, often grudgingly

Will they understand? Will they use it against us? Will they stay?

Some people are drawn to supporting, others can’t escape fast enough; 

Maybe they don’t know how to respond, perhaps they are afraid of saying the wrong thing or they finally realise they did not sign up for ‘this.’

Are you the kind who feels almost relieved at the thought that others are doing worse than you?

Or is it even more painful having to think of their pain, often with some guilt that you can’t complain if you are in a better place…?

Are the collective global troubles comforting or even more stifling?

I keeping thinking about how we are so quick to dismiss our own pain, romanticise ‘strength’ and  disregard the power of vulnerability.

Hope. A word that has been on my heart. 

(Dictionary) “A feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen.

“Where our lives have been (and continue to be) filled with pain, I wish for us acknowledgement of it and all the processes it comes with; that we shall allow ourselves to feel all the feels, to be vulnerable without judgement.

May we find healing especially from the things we can barely share.

I hope that we will not try to impose our timeline for healing or ideas on ‘how to mourn’ on anyone who is struggling.

This month, especially, I pray for renewed hope, for the expectation of great things, for strength to walk towards that which we desire and pursue it steadfastly, understanding the fleeting nature of life.

Faith (Biblical) “The assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

I pray for faith, uncommon faith, abundant faith.

May we remain assured in the beauty and possibilities of that which we can’t even see yet.

Happy September

 Photo credit William Kane. [I was privileged to purchase a framed piece almost 4 years ago; when for his birthday, he chose to sell his photographs and give the proceeds to 4040.

Oh, how blessed we are!]

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Written by Esther Kalenzi

Celebrating life and humour; attempting to make a difference in deed and through my first love, writing.

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