Disclaimer: Characters here are fictional. Any resemblance to real life persons is purely coincidental. The cover picture is a screen cap of a character from the anime, Mirai Nikki (Future Diary)
Ah, sweet Solomon. What a name! A name fit for a king. I am certain your mother named you after the wisest of them all.
Forgive me for digressing from the purpose of this letter but I am too caught up in my feelings and may not express myself as well as I wish. You see, Solomon, I love you; love you with every fiber of my being. I have loved you from the moment I set eyes on you.
Does this seem strange to you? Oh, do forgive me. I know some do not believe in love at first sight but I do. I was drawn in by your looks when you walked up to my check-out counter at the supermarket. Your gentle smile brightened up my dull day and just hearing your word of thanks convinced me of what wonderful manners you had.
I knew that fate was on my side when you used my check-out counter not only for a second but even for a third time. I have heard it said that the third time’s the charm and dearest, you were quite charming. Though you turned away to hide your smile when I asked for your name, it was quite sneaky of you to show it to me when you opened your wallet.
My darling, it was not difficult to have someone take over my shift while I followed you out to your car and then to your home. I must admit that I remained behind to admire your abode once you departed. Your house was magnificent and it called out to me. I was most eager to explore it so that I could discover more about you and see what our future home was like.
Forgive me, Solomon, for I was most displeased to find a woman in our home. That vile, foul intruder tried to order me out. Who the hell did she think she was? How dare she have the gall to claim to be your wife? I did my best to dissuade her of her delusions but the woman simply refused to see reason. I apologise for in trying to reason with her, I may have broken that lovely coffee table in the living room.
I promise that I shall replace the coffee table for it gave its life as a wonderful sacrifice to remove this annoyance from our lives.
Now my dearest, I must reveal the purpose of my letter. As you can see, I have done much for our love and now I believe it is your turn. You must woo me. It is why I brought you here to this secret place before we can return to our home.
I know you’re asleep right now and I blame my overzealousness in preparing that cup of tea for you. It must have been too hot for you to drink, my darling. I think that explains your reluctance to take it when you returned home to find me playing with your kitchen knives. It was nice of you to express your concern for that intruder I had found and even nicer still to drink the tea just to make certain that that worthless intruder was safe.
What a kind heart you have.
Sweetie, once you awaken, I shall read this letter to you. I know your hands won’t be able to do much, given how chained they are to the wall. I have heard of men and their roving hands and frankly speaking, I do not appreciate that as part of the wooing process. It is what led to my losing interest in Anthony. He was handsome but got too frisky with me.
Shall I let you in on a little secret? I believe you shall do better than Anthony. For though I am eagerly anticipating how you shall woo me, I know that you had me from the moment you said hello.
With all my love,
PS: if you’re curious, and I hope, not too jealous about Anthony, he’s over there in the corner. I am afraid he’s not been able to speak or even breathe ever since he attempted to grope me. Do not mind his presence, or the smell. He’s been that way for quite a while. A bit ripe, isn’t he?