I think I had my first crush when I was about eleven. There was this girl, Vicky. Oh God! She was something else. The way she carried herself made me think she only stepped on clouds. Everything she did marveled me.
But boy was I shy! I was terrified she’d embarrass me like most girls did when boys they didn’t like wrote them letters (it was the trend those days). What I didn’t know was that Vicky was as crazy about me as I was about her – probably even more so.
She was bolder than me so she wrote me the most beautiful love letter since the songs of Solomon. It was a very colorful letter, with all the kisses and arrows shooting through hearts and everything.
It was the most beautiful, sweetest thing I’d ever read. I read it four times – once to the headmaster, once in front of my class and twice in front of the entire school assembly.
Yes, it had somehow landed in the authority’s hands before it reached me.
It was so confusing and I was an emotional mess. I didn’t know whether to be flattered because she was psycho for me too or sad because the whole school was laughing at me. I cried. Not because of the taunts but because they wouldn’t let me keep the letter.
I didn’t reply that letter.
So, today, I’m going to do the one thing I should have done thirteen years ago. I’m going to write my princess a proper love letter to show her that I felt and still feel the same way. It goes like;
I think I felt your presence even before I saw you. There was something immediately magical about the air the moment you first walked into the class room. I looked up and there you were – like you had just walked straight out of my favorite fantasy story book.
When our eyes met, I saw doves. When your lips curved to smile at me, it wasn’t butterflies I felt in my stomach. The entire zoo erupted in there. Then you walked over and said hi and I almost got a cardiac arrest because my heart couldn’t stop somersaulting. I stammered an awkward reply and you laughed at my awkwardness and walked off.
Your laugh was like the sweetest jingle. It kept on playing in my head like a favorite song. I wanted to steal you away and take you to our secret place so we could just laugh and forget the world.
I didn’t even know your name then but in my mind, all I wanted was to call you mine. The class teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. It took every ounce of will power in me not to say that I just wanted to be yours.
When I come close to you, it’s like placing wax next to fire. I melt for you. I’m awkward and jittery around you. Everything I meant to say comes out wrong. I wish I was better at hiding my feelings. Your smile makes me wish everything I said to you was funny. When you talk, it isn’t my ears that listen, it is my heart.
When I see you from a distance, I think about rainbows, sunsets and happy endings. To say you’re beautiful would be an understatement. I’m still waiting for the dictionary guys to think up a word that can combine prettiness, gorgeousness and splendor.
Like a star, you’re way out of my world – but I still gaze wishfully, praying that someday you’ll fall for me.
My love, be mine. Can I have you? Will you say yes? Am I moving too fast or am I thinking too slow?
I love you,
P.S.: I don’t have a care if the headmaster reads this. Me I still love you.