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Men, we need to get better at being humane to ourselves

Kati men, we of the indoctrinated gender, we need to get better at being humane to ourselves. 

I met a former employee. He was bone thin.

“Dude, what’s wrong?” I asked. 

He looked at me confused, sighed and said he had lost his job and was struggling to have even one meal a day. I asked why he didn’t call me for assistance. 

“I didn’t want to disturb you and as a man, I am supposed to figure things out. ”  

I asked him to call me when he is stuck and I would assist when I could. He didn’t call. I made it habit to call and check on the guy regularly. 

I have a buddy, he is bipolar. His wife divorced him because she was tired of his weird mood swings. His siblings got tired of his “theatrics”. His work manager gives him the difficult jobs where customers are not necessary. He only sees a psychiatrist on the down-low on when things are bad. He frequently gets off his tabs to prove he is strong. He has refused to tell people about his condition because he doesn’t want to be seen as weak. Yet the thoughts of suicide don’t go away. 

I met another buddy the other day. He was mourning his brother.  The brother’s wife had been pestering the guy to go to the hospital. After a week of him ignoring her, she called a doctor who immediately rushed him to hospital. He passed away less than 24 hours later. Postmortem showed guy had inflamed intestines due to bacterial infection. Malaria had jumped in at the last minute and overwhelmed a compromised immune system. The wife was puzzled.

“Wouldn’t he have been in pain for days? Why didn’t he say anything?”

Coroner replied: “Maleness. It is a common thing. Men hide their pain. Somehow they think admitting pain will make them weak.”

Gents, let’s be more humane to ourselves. Take care of your physical and mental health. 

It is ok to seek out help.

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Written by Businge Abid Weere (0)

Businge Abid Weere, Business Strategy Consultant at Innovent Consult. [email protected]

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