Is it Worth it to be Liked?

Ever since I could remember I was always branded as a bitch. The terrible person who is mean and selfish. Unlike many of the women I see on the internet today, who want to be more selfish after living a so-called selfless life. I was always the opposite. And with what I know now, I have reached a point of deprogramming myself into this selfless person, while others are becoming more selfish.

It’s a brand I made for myself at a young age, and I kept it on for a long time, even subconsciously. I honestly don’t hate being selfish. Now more than ever, since I learnt that being selfless hasn’t done much for many people I know. Instead, it made them overwhelmed and anxious. Trying so hard to please people. Being selfish, on the other hand, makes you more isolated. Alone because no one wants to be around anyone from whom they are not gaining.

Now I live alone and have very few friends and no after-work plans. Every introvert’s dream, right? I honestly don’t hate it. But now I feel the constant pressure to be social. By society. Everyone asks how I can live alone and be alone. Some don’t even believe I am alone because it’s an unrealistic thing to be in. I am being forced to be extroverted.

It was a conversation I had with my previous supervisor, who actually told me that the straight-on work-home balance isn’t healthy. And encouraged me to talk to people at work. And our conversation hit me hard when he talked about how the workers who get far in their space are not really the ones who work the most, but relate easily with everyone.

So basically, you don’t have to be the best at what you do, but the best at talking and communicating with people. “So whenever a new promotion or raise crops up, you will be the first on the list.”, were his exact words.

That put a lot of pressure on me. As a person who is comfortable coming to work, working, and going back home, it becomes overwhelming for me to think that now I have to talk to people as well. And by the way, I know how ridiculous this sounds to normal people as I write this. Like complaining because I have to perform a basic human requirement.

It sounds selfish and entitled for me to think this is a problem. But as I am personally testing this theory, maybe you can help me with this. Is it true that the most liked people are the ones who make it to the top of the cooperate ladder? Or the loyal and hardworking ones?