Byagaba Roland
Woke is a political term of African American origin that refers to a perceived awareness of issues concerning social justice and racial justice. It is derived from the African American Vernacular English expression “stay woke“, whose grammatical aspect refers to a continuing awareness of these issues.
Johnson considered himself a woke man. He was not burdened by the circus of capitalism because he’d read widely about it and other things. He figured he could sense it’s agents from a mile away and engage swerve protocols.
When he found a girl that extracted the feels from his heart, his hope was that she was as capitalism-woke as he was. They’d be unstoppable. If she was lacking in wokeness, he was confident he was convincing enough to get her to embrace his perspective.
Along came Martha. With the kind of hotness wet dreams are made of. With eyes that hypnotized. With a heart that held the secrets to world peace. With an intellect that easily marched his, most likely exceeded even. Johnson just allowed. I mean. Even you wouldn’t you allow with the way I’ve described her?
Henewe, Johnson still feels a hard guy. Martha agreed with certain bits of capitalist arguments but that was on the logical level. On the emotional level, she was a full-blown slave to capitalism, romantic capitalism to be specific. Johnson had work to do suppressing this emotional level and this was a battle he was determined to win.
On one of the dates, she remarked ‘Johnson, nga you’ve never bought me flowers?’
Johnson’s fork paused mid-air. ‘Pardo’, said he.
‘Never mind, it was just an idle thought’ she responded and hit him with the full power of her juju eyes.
But Johnson was wise enough to realize this wasn’t just an idle thought. This needed to be dealt with before it grew into a proper thought, a legit idea and then a full full movement. That’s probably how people power grew and he wasn’t going to take any chances.
‘My ffene, I thought we talked about this. Flowers as a romantic gesture are an illusion that has been sold to us by bees to keep them relevant in humanities eyes and maintain our animosity towards their arch-rivals, the wasps. My juicy ffene, you can’t let yourself succumb to the clutches of….’
‘My sweet kikajjo…’, she interrupted my TED talk as she reached out across the table and held my hands in her soft and depression curing hands. ‘It’s OK. How is your food? Let’s talk about other things.’
Johnson listened to her switch topics and whereas he’d expected relief that the situation had been dealt with, instead he felt a strange mix of elation and dread. Dread because he knew he was going to be buying for her flowers. The bees and wasps be damned. And then elation because he knew the act of buying Martha flowers would make her happy. And she’d bless with him with a miracle-performing smile. And he’d be so happy. And he was woke enough to know that was better than logic.
****
Related kalango: #NailsForBalls
The month of November is dedicated to men’s health awareness. dfcu Bank is focusing on raising awareness of prostate cancer in particular. This #Movember, they’ve decided to do things a little different. Instead of asking men to grow their mustache (me I’ve still grown mine. It has it’s own personality now), they’re asking the ladies to grow their nails or have their nails polished with mustache nail art to show their support. Once you’ve captured a Johnson like our Martha, it’d be great to have them around for long. Yes?
As nyongeza, dfcu bank is rewarding 6 ladies by giving them a free manicure at one of Kampala’s most known salons and is also giving 18 gentlemen a free cancer screening. Check out their social media pages for details on how to participate.
You’re welcome.
Img Src: oxforddictionaries.com
