By Mugabe Victor
Lately, some of you may have noticed that I am not in a perfect state of mind. My thought pattern is foggy, I am forgetful, I call myself a Muchwezi and I sometimes glow green in the dark. I am a walking mess.However, as the saying goes, there’s no better advice than that of a broken soul. Therefore, in light of the my current circumstance, I VictorTheMuchwezi shall enlighten you on some of the ways I’ve used to stay alive. Caution to the few of you reading this; I tend to exaggerate.
A Workout routine. When I feel on the brink of insanity, I tend to have a sudden burst of energy and hormones running docile through brain. In my experience, it has proven advisable to give the two something to do. It might not sound like much, but after my first breakup, jogging miles on end helped remind me that there are far more painful things than having your ex hunting you down with a burdizzo. Turns out the feeling of exasperated lungs on the brink of collapse due to fatigue brings some life back to you.
Daily prayer. I know it sounds out of character but the big guy works wonders when it comes to stuff you can do nothing about. For example; pimples before a date, crazy ex girlfriends, bad weather on Friday nights and hell sent barbers. God has always been and will always be that bright light at the end of that long, dark, sewage filled tunnel of post puberty life. You’ll have to walk through all that shit, but there’s always a light at the end of the way, to remind you of what you are stepping in and where you will be stepping.And finally cartoons. There’s nothing better than having all the worries in the world disappear for a mere 20 minute episode of Looney toons. The sound of bugs bunny’s “what’s up doc” will eventually be equivalent to a well timed orgasm with a human being you can tolerate.That’s all I’ve got for today ladies and gentlemen. Hope you find the words of this mortal helpful.