The Modern Day African Virgin

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The modern Day African Virgin.

Virginity? Purity? Respect? Marriage? Religion? What does all of this have to do with sex for the first time? Lisa asked herself.

All my friends now have boyfriends, it is part of a social requirement at university, and I love listening to my friends rant about how terrible their boyfriends are, or sometimes glow with joy because of the tiniest things, the boyfriend remembered to do.

It is miserable and adorable to see the look on their faces, the constant anticipation, followed by the annoying questions; will he call me? Did I give it up too soon? Should I have sex on the first date? I tell you, my friends just will not stop questioning every aspect of sex, men and relationships.

21-year-old Lisa had found the right man. His dark silky skin, thick muscles, tall with pearly teeth, his smiling eyes, her world was pure bliss. No amount of weed would achieve this feeling.

The time was now! Virginity had to go! She danced in her room at the mere thought of the idea. The beautiful black hands roaming all over her body, where would they touch first? Would it be her rounded full breasts? Or would they stroke her tender skin, retracing God’s perfection.

‘What would he look like naked? Does he have chest hair? I pray he does not, about the other main parts; I do not really want to know, but just maybe… What is the size of his penis? Does size matter anyway?’ Lisa could not shut her curious mind.

Laying on her round mahogany bed, facing the ceiling decorated with zigzag lines of blue that run from one side to the other, the room smells like lavender, the perfume on her dressing table. Opposite her, is a well-furnished shelf with tons of books, from political science, to anthropology, and a bit of Ayn Rand? All these had a different view take on life.

Her diary in her hands, she begins to review her virginity loss idea man.

  • Sexy brain -tick,
  • Smile, -perfect,
  • Body, -amazing,
  • Height, -just enough

This was a deal breaker. She had found the one man that appealed to her vanity. Plus Her Pride, her intellect and sense of humor. All that was remained was green light from her family and this beautiful man would be her meal.

‘Dinner is ready!’ someone was shouting from downstairs. Lisa lazily dragged herself out of bed, pressing pose on her thoughts about sex. She headed to the dining room.

Headsets on, Miguel‘s let my love adorn you was the rhythm she swirled to.

In the dining, a well-furnished room, it smelt of the sweet aroma of food mixes with the different deodorants everyone wore.

Her family was already seated. One look from her father, religion, was enough to make her take the headsets off. He always wore his rosary that glowed even in the dark, his Bible placed on his right side.

I hope his humming to God will make a way. That song drives me crazy. It’s the way he tilts his head in a manner like he is seizing one up trying to place their faith on a weighing scale.

Like the games back in high school where one wrapped their hands around a rosary, shook it then held at the end of the cross, the more beads you had on the right side showed your sins recorded by God, the later represented your blessings. Father reminds me of the mean nuns in high school, God I hated Catholic school. All this was going through her mind.

A disapproving grunt from her mother, culture, said it all. She wore her colored Mushanana that looked like the rainbow, with one hand constantly holding one side like she feared it fall or fall open. She instantly knew that mother was referring to her very short denim skirt and the see-through pink top.

It was only the comfort of her elder brother western values that comforted her, his swag, sagging jeans, chains on his hands and tattoos all over his body.

I wonder where he was last night, always up to something, this crazy brother of mine. She thought.

Click click, the sound of forks and knives, struggling to cut through the sun roasted meat dipped in gee, locally called eeshabwe, became the conversation. This is Mother’s favorite traditional dish. The aroma always makes my stomach somersault. I end up eating the meal without breathing it in. The up and down moving of jaws makes them hurt

The loud silence was killing her jolly mood so she decided to strike up a conversation with her elder brother.

‘Western values, what do think about loss of virginity?

Smiling sheepishly her brother says, ‘I think virginity is just a piece of skin that seals off the vagina, all you have to do is have penetrated sex and you will lose it. It may not be nice the first time. Hell yes! It might feel like pain, but it gets better.  You can then fuck whomever you want, be as generous as you want ma love.

He passes on a Jackie Colin’s’ novel to her.

Smiling at this interesting take on virginity, she notices her mother whispering to her father, they seem to heavily disagree with western values take on virginity.

‘I cannot believe the nonsense that pours out of your brother mouth!’  Her mother screams. ‘May the gods never forgive, you useless boy, as for you my daughter, I cannot believe you even remotely agree with your brother.

A woman is not supposed to lose her virginity out of wedlock, which not only tarnishes our family image but also cuts on our bride price.

What will you be worth if you start sleeping around with every man that excites your private parts? Have some respect young woman, I thought I raised you better!’

Her mother looks at Lisa’s father, religion to give the concluding remarks; after all he is head of the family.

‘According to the Bible, lifting it high up, Exodus 20:14 “You shall not commit adultery.

Sex is scared, it is god’s gift to man, to have sex out of wedlock is fornication, this is a sin, that is breaking the ten commandments, do you want to go to Hell? Even if God preaches forgiveness, committing sin with full knowledge is not excusable.’ says father in a condensing yet commanding voice.

They turn to look at Lisa and ask in union whose advices are going to take?

Lisa stares open mouthed at the family she loves, the mother that brought her into this life, her soul source of background, the father religion who comforts her when she is scared, gives her hope when she feels the world is coming to an end, makes the impossible, possible.

The lovely brother, a constant fountain of laughter, joy, new creative ideas that sometimes shock her but most of the time cement a smile on her beautiful face.

‘How can you ask me to choose whose ideas I take, knowing that I love all of you equally? Why would you subject me to choose and take a side? And who makes these laws that define how and when to lose my virginity? Honestly I am more confused than before.’ says Lisa.



What do you think?

Written by Kemigisa Jacky

Kemigisa Jacky , 22 years old , a 3rd Journalism student of Makerere University Kampala ,Uganda, I love reading and writing is a

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#MuwadoLoveLetter From One Twin Heart to Another