Sheila Wavamunno
It’s a few weeks to my second major endometriosis surgery. Technically, my third if we count the diagnostic one in 2020. My overriding feeling is gratitude for all the support I have gotten and I am still getting financially, to be able to have an urgent surgery that hopefully will help restore fully – my kidney function. I’m thankful for the intangible and immeasurable support like prayer, words of encouragement and the gift of presence.
I have spoken and written before on the loneliness of chronic illness, and the fights one can have with loved ones concerning theology and what we differently see as solutions.
What you don’t know is that even for some like me, who to a degree can be quite decisive and not very “otherwise” persuadable, having to have, and deciding to have another surgery is not easy at all.
I actually had to make a case for myself and to myself. Did/Do I need the surgery? That was sure. Did/Do I want the surgery.. that’s what I debated before talking to friends and family about having to fundraise – again!! It’s not even just about the money, that plays a part.. because you wonder WHY people should give to you (AGAIN!) when there are many others suffering. It’s also about being tired… mentally, emotionally and physically.
Some people think I am humble for asking (again & again!) … but I think I am mostly desperate. There’s that part of me that just wants to fight even while another part of me is quite resigned. Que sera sera… It’s not even about being fatalistic..but more about surrender. I don’t know if there’s really a good kind of surrender…that isn’t a form of resignation.
I’d say believing in the sanctity of human life, even when that life is my own – pushes me to fight. Knowing that to believe that all we humans are imago dei…means I am also worth fighting for!!
It’s actually funny, how we easier rally behind others but might be slower to do so for ourselves. I am truly thankful for the gift of COMMUNITY that reminded me that I also matter! That I am worth fighting for. It’s really amazing how even strangers will give to someone they don’t know. We humans have sooo much potential for good!! We are indeed image bearers! I have been the recipient of “Humans of Uganda and Beyond” kind of love and support. Ninsiima munonga MUNONGA.
Even though I still have a lot of mental work to do; renewing my mind in God’s Word, asking Him to show me what He’s doing and resting in Him, I know that I am certainly very grateful for how God shows up and shows off through people. How very encouraged I am and how very supported I feel.
I don’t know how this endo story ends but I do know that He’s always making something good out of even the ugliest of things. Take a long look at the cross!
O for grace to trust Him more!!
Sheila Nabuuma Wavamunno [email protected]
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