I have honestly tried and failed!

I usually admire all these people going to all these wonderful restaurants, travel destinations and hotels with these fancy outfits, and taking beautiful photos of the scenery, the foods and their lovely faces, smiles, bodies…

I really want to be them. I want to share my journeys and luxuriously show off! And I have to a small extent, not yet to my satisfaction.

Most times I see these online recommendations and memes asking us what we are doing in our lives if we haven’t visited certain high-end spots in Kampala (or anywhere).

But most days my body just demands to be indoors and instructs that we order in. While indoors there is no way I am wasting a fancy outfit to take a photo with food in a silver pack! That is a shame to Instagram.

This same body hates unnecessary movement which includes shopping. Goodness, I don’t know how you all love to shop. The whole making up my mind about what I want is so tedious. Therefore my body and I end up wearing clothes until we look like beggars. There has to be major damage on my favourite pair of jeans before I can painfully buy another. That’s if nobody offers to shop for me.

The same unnecessary movement includes grocery shopping. Yikes! How to tell a good melon from a tasteless one, how to smell out a bad fish, how to feel fresh avocado, eludes me.

This body hates travelling. The sheer anxiety of sitting on a boda or bus or plane is crazy. Anything can happen anytime. So this body prefers familiar grounds without any motion and this can only be found in my bedroom. So my body and I can be in my room for months without human interaction!

Then there is doing hair and makeup which is just very painful to my scalp and bothersome to the peace my body and I have inhabited for years. My body is so lazy that it wants to wake up last minute and wear whatever is available and just tie my hair into a comfortable bun and get out! After draggingly making it out of the shower, wearing make-up feels like an extra chore and we just can’t!

My body also finds dressing up in expensive, really standing-out outfits so attention-giving. My body hates to be noticed. We just want to disappear into a crowd and evade eyes looking at us from top to bottom. We fear judgement. What if the shoes don’t match? What if the colours are too extra? We’d rather be dull and shabby because nobody focuses much on people like us.

But deep inside of us, my body and I would love to show off. We are only too lazy. oh, and a tad broke!