I curved a mufere

I’ve missed bafere calling me up so I decided that the next one that called me, I’d be polite and engage with them. One just called the office phone purporting to represent Airtel Uganda. I was so excited.

He first called using  0701-614630 but the line was terrible. I think I heard him introduce himself as Kasirye something or other,  which I’m positive was a nom de guerre but whatever… After a lot of “I beg your pardons” and a few “Please be louders” though loathe to hang up fearing he’d not call back maybe deeming me an unfortunate mark, I was forced to. I did try to sound saddened at having to end the conversation.

He called back using 0753-987446. Praise black Jesus. 

A brief of the subsequent conversation:

Agent: Hello sir, your line was due for disconnection in the next 5 minutes (yeah, this con doesn’t seem well thought through) however Airtel doesn’t like to treat our customers like that and so we endeavour to call our customers first.

Me: I’m grateful for the consideration.

A: Anyway, do you have your national ID close to hand?

M: Yes, I do.

A: Is this number registered to ……

M: Yes. It is.

A: Is she your sister, wife…

M: Yes, we’re very close.

A: Okay, sir. Is this a smartphone or a button phone?

M: Smartphone. (It isn’t)

A: Do you use it for mobile money transactions?

M: Yes. (I don’t)

A: How much mobile money do you have today?

M: Well, I haven’t checked today but it’s between 90 to 100k. (I really wanted to look worth his time even though there’s not a penny on there)

A: Great. So to register, please put your device on speaker and dial *253# and press OK.

At this point I decided to play belligerent complaining at the numerous times we’ve had to register our SIM cards due to varied reasons. He had also slipped out of the English he was struggling with into Luganda and I chose to go with him.

A: Have you pressed OK?

M: Not yet. I’m still unhappy at having to register again.

A: The line will be disconnected.

M: You know what, disconnect it! I’m done.

A: Are you sure?

M: Yes. I’m really disappointed.

A: Alright sir.

I then heard him yell to someone else in the “office” to disconnect my line and I hung up.

A couple of seconds later, I got this message from the number that had called verbatim:

Dear Customer, Your ACCOUNT is LOCKED.failore to acomplie with our terms and conditions .Airtel uganda LIMITED*253#

So there I am with my “disconnected” line and he magically calls me back to confirm whether I’d gotten the message. This fellow is definitely also in the #Situlago

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Written by Herbert Crispus Byamukama (0)

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