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CIVIL DISCOURSE: Flora and fauna…or rather, flora vs fauna?

Where do grasshoppers lay their eggs? If the first answer that came to your mind is ‘grass’, UNEB needs to re-mark your PLE science paper. YOU CHEATED!! 

let’s bathe 

It’s quite disturbing that many people cringe at the thought of killing animals, but do not give even the slightest thought about killing plants. Isn’t that a double standard? Hypocrisy at best? 

DISCLAIMER: Let me just get this out of the way; THIS IS NOT AN AFFRONT TO ANIMAL RIGHTS ACTIVISTS, VEGANS, AND GENERALLY EVERYONE WHO WOULD RATHER DIE THAN RECEIVE NEWS THAT A PREGNANT HEN WAS INVOLVED IN A CAR ACCIDENT THAT LEFT ITS UNBORN YOUNG ONES PARALYSED FOR LIFE. This is but a primate trying to arrange random English words to form random sentences that will in turn form a random write-up/essay/story (whichever of these nouns you prefer to use is absolutely unwelcome) that will in turn capture your attention for ONLY five minutes, leaving you ruminating on posited argument for a further five minutes, only to come the jarring realization that you just wasted ten minutes of your life bathing in an absolute display of poppycock; a sensation that will haunt you until you become loam soil. Oh and by the way, hens have this weird thing they like to do—it’s called laying eggs. Thusly, they rarely get pregnant….just saying. 

Where were we? Ah yes; the misguided devotion towards fauna. See; the human populace defeats me. Our predisposition towards hypocrisy is as copious in supply as the number of men that overstate the size of their loins yet still as morbid as the unhealthy panoply of sexual kinks exhibited by this same gender that betrayed Jesus (rimming, no?)

We refuse to wear fur coats and all other animal products in preservation of the precious lives of sheep, rabbits and hyenas (yeah I own a shoe that was constructed using only hyena toes—like fifty eight of them) and yet we have absolutely no problem stuffing our bellies with pineapples and carrots in search of weird nutrients (Vitamin P, anyone? Apparently, it cures cancer of the middle finger!) These are actual plants being uprooted FOR SPORT! Okay you can replace the word sport with diet. 

My query ergo, cooked with an astounding shortage of the spice sobriety, and readily prepared deep within my duodenum, goes thus; is as plant life not as important as animal life? Is blood really thicker than sap? I mean; how do we expect to fight racism yet we can’t even pursue egalitarianism amongst living things as a whole?

This Discourse threatens to stretch to undesirable lengths that would pour scorn upon the normal distribution, but what is the point? I’m glad you asked! The point here is one: endeavor to drink alcohol more often than not—it’ll enable you to see the world in a new light with as limited horse sense as exhibited both herein, and by BebeCool whenever he is given a microphone and told not to sing, but to actually say something. 



Written by Francis B Xavier

Far be it from me to discuss people, but I like to think of Xavi as a student of life!

What do you think?

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