Broken Hallelujah

I braved my way to church this rainy Easter Sunday morning when I would rather have spent it coiled in my messy bed with fingers and eyes glued to the phone. Duty had overruled desire which made me feel accomplished. So, I decided to reward myself with a movie.

Movies are now a luxury seeing it’s the third time I have indulged in them this year. If you desire to rekindle your delight in the simple things that once brought you pleasure, limit your access to them. You will be amazed at how more enjoyable your favorite meal, great movie or book will become.

Nigerians have my heart. Although I took time to scroll through the various movie options, I found myself in my default settings country. LOL. I could totally relate to the main characters of Broken Hallelujah (Daniel Etim Effiong and Bimbo Ademoye). Girl crushes on boy from childhood to adulthood. She thinks she’s the only one feeling and thinking things. Boy finds his way into the girl’s life to the point that not even many waters can quench their love for each other. It’s an easy kind of love story that lovers of love will enjoy on a chilly evening.

Then comes the plot twist of waiting for children that shakes the foundation of their love to the core. There’s something about the earnest expression of a heart’s desire to realize Passions and Dreams that brings me to tears because I’m well acquainted with waiting. That kind where your faith grows weary and you tell God, “If you want, answer me. If you don’t, it’s still okay with me,” yet deep down you desire that God gives you exactly what you want.

That easy movie got me crying and walked me down several memory lanes. It made me re-listen to Amy Grant’s Better Than A Hallelujah – a song that saw me shade rivers of tears as a teenager. Come to think of it, what was I weeping over? Hihihi, now see me considering my teenage aches as trivial. Aaaah, the beauty and strength that comes with growing older. ‘This too shall pass’ is not only a mantra but also an anchor in turbulent waters.

That movie got me thinking about the memoir, Pieces of Me by Catherine Bagyenda. Her story is in a way similar to Broken Hallelujah. She got to that point of telling God, “If you want, give me children. If you don’t want, it’s okay with me.” Yet like I said before, deep down in her heart, her desire still resided. Then she had her first set of twins (girl and boy) after 8 long years of waiting. Later on, another set (boy and girl). Aaaah. Dreams do come true.

By the time I read the last page of that book 6 years ago, I had come to appreciate that all children are blessings but others are blessings to greater degrees. For sure I know that those two sets of twins are much more precious in the sight of their parents compared to the likes of me who were concieved and born with so much ease. Yes, I am my parents’ first daughter. And yes, I have a special place in their hearts but those children were manifested through prayers (the kind with groans and tears). Those children came from a place of deep longing.

As I think about the many things that my heart has waited for a lifetime to behold, I know and know that they cannot compare in value to those that I got on a silver platter. Things like my debut book, Passions and Dreams. One that I waited for for more than ten years. Not all love stories hold the same weight. Most definately, not all children are equal and our fingers are a living testimony.

Such were the sentiments that Broken Hallelujah stirred up within me. Thankfully, I’m at a point of passive waiting. In fact, those longings are buried deep inside that it has to take a movie to unearth them.

As you reflect on the stage of waiting you’re at, it’s not too late for me to say, “Happy Easter Sunday.” Good bye for now. I will be back when inspiration strikes again.

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