Rolex
Influencers in Uganda and beyond are everyone’s new favourite people to hate on. Just because you recycled memes, plagiarized peoples jokes, somehow got over 10k followers and now have an opinion on everything with a shameless plug squeezed in, does not make you an influencer
The people that truly influence are the ones that have seen the environmental impact of over 10000 retweets/subtweets. If they see on a regular basis, as opposed to one hit wonders, then they are the real MVPs. Yes, the Kardashians are up there with the best of them.
You must be wondering, what’s he on about?
Well, just in case you forgot, you are tuned in to TIME TV and we are exploring the oddest extra realities we’ve come across. We are currently on, Influencer TOLL: Be careful what you wish for…!!!
So, should the day come and you somehow cross the 5000 retweets threshold, you start feeling it. The way your device is behaving with every retweet after. If it doesn’t make it to 10k…the little you’ve felt will leave you yearning for moRE!! If you manage to cross over, well, comrade, welcome to paradi-ha-haHA-you-in-HeLLL!!
As the retweets soar into the stratosphere, you feel the temperature change as all your devices overheat due to the shitloads of processing happening to deliver and record retweets. It hurts like hell but in a bittersweet kind of way so, even as you do everything in your power to contain it, you still kinda want it.
Most measures include pimping gadgets upwards to contain the energy demands. If you were to look at the specs of these real deal influencers gadgets, it’s NASA level ish. Bruh, cryptocurrency has nothing on these guys !! So, when you see them charging major dimes for mentions, just know a great percentage goes into gadget upgrades.
Ate they all learn and do it themselves. Don’t think they just pay off some contractors to do the work. Wapi. They are all getting their hands dirty fundi boting and figuring out new innovative ways of pimping upwards. That’s right, even Zari knows way more tech that you can even imagine. We are like 3 generations behind them.
So next time you see any for real influencer living it up, let them do their thing. They’ve earned it. And if you are thinking, why not mute notifications, remember it’s addictive. The first time you experience it and you’ll most likely succumb. Few have escaped the grasp.
It’s le me, Roland reporting from extra realities for TIME TV. Back to you, Brian.
Brian: Love that guy. I wonder how he hasn’t yet lost his mind, like the ones before him. PS: He’s telling the truth and I’d know coz I’m a bloody TV celebrity. I could tweet a poop emoji and you guys would find enough sense in it to retweet it 30k times. How is one supposed to top up his 2.5mGHz phone processor? This is surely the end of me.
Bambi, Brian.
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