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#‎MuwadoLoveLetter‬,#Dear yet-to-be-found-maiden,:Deeds; #SmilyFace #WinkWink #CoolFace

Dear yet-to-be-found-maiden,

The ups and downs of the hustle weigh heavy upon my shoulders. I doubt that the exquisite dames currently in and around my life will in any way be able to stomach my current cash to mouth approach to life. Yes my dear, it has been brought up once or twice. It is not necessarily by choice though it is somewhat due to the infancy of my career. I have (and still do) share in the peril of the everyday average Ugandan youth in search of both purpose and financial stability. I have strong hopes that the avenue I have chosen embodies my passion and requires my talents, gifts and strengths. But in all honesty: writing takes a while before paying the bills. Though this has left me a financial cripple, it has blessed my landlord with a few eloquently weaved 5000-word emails, detailing why it is vital to humanity that he award me 90 more days of breathing space before he requests for rent again…it’s been 9 months now, and he is either my biggest and only fan or he is silently plotting my off-ING.
All that aside, I have also participated in the tango of relationships with an array of women from all walks of life. But mostly the impeccable campus maidens who one after-the-other have been picked up by the more mature, more stable, 34+ year old men who by their demeanor alone surpass my ‘swag’ (as the young ones would say).
I am pretty sure this is the section of my letter that needs to be treated like a pitch by putting my more muscle bulging leg forward. But my anti status quo nature will not allow. It is indeed true that I carry with me remarkable chivalry and strengths that if mentioned could not just raise the curiosity and unmask the veil of negativity from the most passionate of feminist but also risk kidnap since the feminist would want me for herself. So to sell you on my strengths would be an injustice, though aside from converting hardcore feminists, it would be unfair to the getting-to-know-each-other phase of a relationship, a vital component in the foundation upon which lasting relationships are created. So instead of a pitch I will attempt to raise humorous commentary on my current ongoing;
1. When I first laid eyes on the image of Mugabe falling I thought he was pulling a ‘Badass’ dance move in an attempt to disprove rumors about his bad health
2. I recently found out that I am adopted and that my father is an administrator at KFC (acacia branch) and his first name is Fried. It could have been a typo though since the news was broken to me over watsapp.
3. Olivia pope giving side chicks hope one episode at a time. Dead? Yup, I fell off my chair the first time I saw the meme too.
Now that certain inkling to humor has been established allow me say that in my short term interaction with love I have come to learn a few things. The most important being that, to love someone is like a workout regimen, It begins with The Warm Up: This is where you slowly let yourselves open up to each other and take mental notes of each other’s reactions to your exposed selves (so to speak). And if the reaction from both sides is welcoming , then it is time for the next stage, The Exercise: this is where we present more of ourselves at more consistent intervals while slowly eliminating habits and behaviors that may be harmful to our growth. Hitting on every beautiful girl within a 10 meter radius may be one of my own, but rest assured, it is being worked on as you read. Then in comes the last stage, standing in front of the mirror admiring the work of art being built: need I say more? But other than the stages above, love requires consistency, effort, commitment and above all acceptance, the things that transcend words and are only witnessed in action. I am a romantic at heart but I currently wear a ‘playa playa’ attitude. But as my elder sibling would say; it is a juvenile self defense mechanism to sort of establish that I carry a set of big Kahunas, but worry not that too is being worked on. I know this is being written years ahead of its time but just look at it as a window into the past of the man you have welcomed to set home in your heart. I could have kept this in my archives so that one day, deep in our relationship, you would stumble upon it, read, wipe a tear, sigh and go like, “He is a man amongst men” look up at the sky and say, “Thank you Jesus” but allow me share it with the world here. It would indeed make for a heck of a story if you do read this in 2015 and a few years from now end up as my main maiden. Oh! The laughs we’ll share.
Back in Secondary School love letters ended with deeds but since times have changed and the advancement in technology has sort ‘a changed how we write to others allow me make a merger between the old school and the new school and conclude this meticulous time defying letter.


Yours truly from the past,

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