You are here

You average 5 job applications a week, but always get just close enough
He hates his job but it pays the bills
You followed your dreams yet most days it feels like they don’t follow you back
She wishes she could start her business but no one believes in her
Your latest business venture just collapsed
You are broke and confused
He just left another relationship, once again he was the last to know
She’s struggling to leave after years of emotional abuse because “What about the children?”
When your friends were asked what they wanted to be in future, they excitedly shouted Pilot! Teacher! President
You said you wanted to be a mother. Years later, the doctor told you it was impossible, at least not biologically
He puts his four children to sleep and a tear drops because he is doing this alone, uncertain about their future
She just lost her third baby and is constantly asking God why he’s punishing her
Another death in the family? Why God, why?
Don’t get me started on the scourge that is cancer and all its relatives
You have lost a year of your life to depression and the family still can’t admit to their friends so they maintain that ‘He traveled for further studies’
Her little boy may never walk again The bank just took the only house they called home
Your family is fighting for land they never really owned
Friends have become strangers and strangers, confidants

It is hard.
Adulting is difficult
You are tired all the time
Someone is always in pain
You have lost control of your tear glands
You are forgetting important dates
You hate being around people
You hate being alone even more
You have more questions than answers
What is sleep?
Where is all the money you work for?
What is a vacation?
Your dreams keep you up
Your shadow scares you

But in this moment
In this very minute.

You are here now.
In this moment, you are breathing. You are fighting. Maybe you have even given up the will to fight but you haven’t given up the will to live.

You are losing but you are not lost.

You are here.
You have bared your soul to another
You have loved
You are alive
You are breathing
You are still dreaming

You are not your past, your mistakes or your pain. They are part of you. They are not who you are.
You have hope, no matter how dangerous it is
You wake up, every day and you wear your game face and you try again.

I hope that someone is telling you how proud they are of you but more importantly, I hope you are telling you. I don’t mean in a whisper, I mean loudly, in front of a mirror, before bedtime whenever.
Yes, I hope you are reminding yourself that you are amazing.
You have conquered so much my goodness! Take a minute to forget what isn’t right and see how far you have come.
Do you see it? The things that seemed impossible then? The answered prayers? All of your achievements? See the growth!
Yup, it was all YOU!

You are loved
You are important
You are enough, so so enough!

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Written by Esther Kalenzi

Celebrating life and humour; attempting to make a difference in deed and through my first love, writing.

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