in

Cold inside

Found this piece I had written in 2008. Oh how far I have come from my personal demons and depression

Friday eveningā€¦ am at my work deskā€¦with a sore throat and stomach full of gas. My phoneā€™s network is still off, but at least I have established that it wasnā€™t my phoneā€™s obsoleteness, but the network providerā€™s inefficiency. How am I supposed to pick my girlfriend from work? Sheā€™s on the same network and most probably her phone is useless also. A few notes in my diary, and my mind is back to roaming aimlessly. Almost kicked myself for carrying the wrong pack of cigarettes this morning(the empty one), but I wonder now if I could have inhaled any toxins with this discomfort in my chest. But it goes without saying, and I will not even pretend to try, I must smoke at least one before the day is done. Almost forgot that a workmate gave me 2complimentary tickets to grant me free entrance to a swanky club in town before midnightā€¦.I have no plans to use them, but then again, am just a 25year old ā€teenage dirtbagā€ waiting to see how the evening goesā€¦

Such is my state. I went out of the building for a walk and the sunrays felt like a whip on my skinā€¦sort of like what vampires would feel in the sun, or more recently, the pain of the infected creatures in I AM LEGEND when in contact with ultra violet rays.  What a way my body does react to an uncertain mind!! I normally love to soak up the sun, and my body must have been voicing what was going on inside. It was raining in my heart, not a heavy downpour, but the incessant rain which persists even when for a moment it seemed like it was subsidingā€¦. I must look hard to see the silver lining in the clouds that are gatheringā€¦No need for a weather forecast here. The sun has been thoroughly smothered. Prepare for more inner rain.

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Written by Ronnie ALINDA (1)

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